Wednesday, February 8, 2012

I Hate Some Things That Are Movie Related


   I'm a pretty agreeable person when it comes to movie adaptations of books. As long as the opening credits say something about the movie being “based” on the book, any mistakes I see in the production I will file under “Too bad it wasn't in the movie.” However, this kindness I extend to movies ends when I see a re-imagining of an old movie. I immediately become a scrooge and won't hear any good of the film until I have forced myself to see it. This may seem stupid and overly critical, but when older films are redone the subsequent movie isn't as good (in most cases). I will bring up The Karate Kid as an example. It wasn't a great movie in any sense of the word, but it was a fun watch. This white kid learns Karate from this old Chinese guy, etc., etc. Now, I am a stickler to story and characters. The new Karate Kid movie broke every single barrier I make. The kid goes to China, get's beat up by Chinese boys, and finds a Chinese master . . . What in the FUCK happened to the original storyline? Where did America go? Where did those douchey, asshole white kids go? And why is Miyagi so young? Okay, so Miyagi being young isn't a huge issue, but the fact that this takes place in China bothers the shit out of me. This new Karate Kid wasn't anything like the original other than Miyagi, and that is even debatable. It was like a bad sequel. If the movie had been called Tae-Kwon-Do Boy, Jujutsu Lad, or something, I would have had no problem with it, but the movie was advertised as The Karate Kid redone and so on. Yes, okay, having more than two races in a movie is great. But that isn't the real story of Karate Kid. It was an American teen learning how to protect and beat the shit out of a hoard of American bullies with the help of a Chinese man. It is a story showing how a foreign outlook can help solve a problem, the new movie doesn't show this. It shows an American kid going to a foreign country, getting bullied by foreigners (which happens in so many “go to other country”movies), finding foreign help to fix a problem the kid has from being essentially foreign himself. NO. NO. NO. That is a completely different moral and movie. That is not The Karate Kid.
    Alright, so if you have been reading my other little review-like entries of things you know that I am a picky little pouf. I am actually so picky my best friend get's mad at me for it – she has reason because I can be pretty freaking bad, and I know it. Welp, let's move on to another thing I hate that is similar to why I don't like movie on movie adaptations: using a character name when the character has changed. I will be using BBC's Sherlock as an example of this. I will be the first to shout that I love Sherlock Holmes because I do. I love all adaptations, except BBC's. But why? If I love this character so much why would I hate just once sect of his production? Because it takes place in current times and the characters have changed, but they retain their old names. I assume people have seen House, if you haven't it is basically Sherlock in a hospital. House acts like Holmes in the assholey, smartass manner; is a genius; has a “Watson;” and solves crimes (illnesses in the show). So, House is Sherlock Holmes for the new age! The names are changed because the characters are essentially different, even though the basics remain the same, and the show takes place now. It is Holmes, but it is not. Which is great. Okay, now let's move on to BBC. This Holmes takes place in the new age, maybe a little later on in our time, and the characters have also undergone a considerable change. That is what I don't like. That the show is Sherlock Holmes in the now times with different characterization. This Holmes is similar only in the way that House is similar to Holmes, so I am not going to repeat myself. Sherlock's Holmes is not a drug addict, is very clean shaven, has some sort of style, and severely lacks the female repellant that the original did. This goes far beyond re-imagining, this is a new person. This is not Sherlock Holmes, likewise the other characters that retain the names of the original characters are not those characters. I am not saying the show is bad in any way; it is quite good. The dialogue, acting, etc. is so great, but this seemingly small, but to me very large, pitfall is what is keeping me from enjoying the show fully. I just get pissed off and frustrated and turn the show off. All it would take is to change their names to something else. Like Harrison, Barney, etc. I don't care. It would be like me writing a book about Middle Earth and I name an elf Legolas and a man Aragorn.
    I am an ass. I know it, but I have to limit my movie and TV watching somewhere, and these are examples of when I draw the line.

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